Challenge: Going Naked
Uh…nope, not in the sense you’re thinking. I mean, I would go naked, I have no problem with that, but I think everyone else would. No, I’m talking about revealing my emotions, feelings, past experiences, taking all the layers off, going raw, naked.
I am giving you all a heads-up, a warning, especially to the people I know personally. Those of you who don’t really know me, well, you don’t really know me and we don’t have interact on a day-to-day, month-to-month, or year-to-year level. Those of you who don’t really know me, well, you don’t really know me and you probably don’t have a preconceived idea of me, so I can’t let you down. Those of you who know me personally, well, you might realize you don’t know me as well as you thought I did.
I’m not saying I’m not the person I am, or the person you all know, that is me, but there is another part of me that I have kept hidden from everyone, including myself. See, as we all do, I have a past that I can’t let go of, some of it I can’t remember, a past that holds me back, pushes me down, and keeps me frozen in place. Now, as I near my 40th birthday, I finally, after almost 14 years, am ready to face my past, to deal with these demons.
I am blogging about it and putting it on the internet as part of my ‘process’ of dealing with it all. If I put it out there, release it, then I can’t deny it, and I can let it go. I’ve already begun to deal with my issues, my demons, my past. I have already typed a lot of it up. When I post it, that means I have dealt with that part and am ready to move on.
For those of you who know me personally, I hope it doesn’t change your opinion of me, unless you had a bad opinion of me, then maybe it will explain why you feel that way. But for those of you who know me and think I am a better person than I am, let’s just keep pretending that I am. I am doing this for me, not for anyone else; it’s just part of my process.